Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
