Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
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He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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