i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
