omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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