I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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