you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
