Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
