we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
