wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
