He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
