i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize