party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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