R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
