but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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