Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
