yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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