So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
