**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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