I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
