I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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