i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
false alarm. still invincible.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
