Need sex. Gaining weight.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
