we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
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i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize