there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
