I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
