haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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