I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
