I think i peed on brittanys purse
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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