next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
