just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
