did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
