I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
