You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
