Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize