no you cant smoke seaweed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
