Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
