He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
