quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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