I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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