I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
