just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
