Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
