This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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