i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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