I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
