The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
