I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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