im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I smell stomach acid.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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