The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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