I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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