I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
