your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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