life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize