So drunk its hurt
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
