you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
