i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
