I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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