i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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