distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
