I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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