So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
