I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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