need another drink. this is the easiest way
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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