Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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