what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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