Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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