Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
