Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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