She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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