If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
