Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
